Drunk Blogging the State of the Union

I have a tradition. Whenever the State of the Union is on, I like to get together with friends, devise a drinking game around expected topics or phrases, and comment on whatever the President has to say this year. The phrases are mutually agreed upon and change from year to year and president to president.

For instance, with Bush, popular phrases included 9/11, nucular (nuclear mis-pronounced *shudder*), terrorism, and Osama Bin Laden. With Obama, the phrases "Let me be clear," "Make no mistake," and "Put America back to work" are all reliable go tos.

Hence I was disappointed this year when Obama said very few of his stock phrases, and my friends and I were forced to drink to whatever we felt deserved it. The tally this year is three beers for me, seven friends, and about five shushes to quiet the commentary from the peanut gallery.

I may decide to do a more in depth analysis of the speech later, but I'm starting to doubt that. This year's speech was fairly chock full of empty platitudes and little offered in the way of real substance. But I did take notes on my reactions to the speech in real time, and if I can read my own handwriting, I should be able to share some. So here we go, my slightly tipsy recollection from scribbled notes:

First impressions: Michelle Obama looks AMAZING! Blue is absolutely her color. She can sometimes over do the structural design of her dresses for big occasions, but this one had a nice twisted structure to it around the waist that made her look just incredible. I may disagree with a lot of what she has to say, but she looks great saying it!

Plus, Obama himself looks better than he has in the past while. He doesn't look as grey and haggard as he has, but that may be because of the more closely cropped do and a lot of makeup. I worry for the people he's hugging! He might smudge.

The speech itself: Platitudes, platitudes, obligatory salute the troops remarks.

Ooh, I'm pretty sure that "safer and more respected" remark was in direct response to the recent incident with marines peeing on the Taliban. Maybe it wasn't meant that way, but all of us here did a little "Oooh" moment.

He says it's the "First time in 9 years" that we have no troops fighting in Iraq. Hmm, maybe we're not actively engaged in attacks, but we're still stationed there, helping the Iraqi government find stability, fending off attacks, and doing more than maybe we should have to. Rhetorical tricks won't get by us, here, Mr. President.

Yay to Osama Bin Laden no longer being a threat!

And then he goes into how America should be more like the military? What, with more top-down hierarchy and military tribunals? Oh, wait. Yeah, that's exactly what he means. With the recent changes to the NDAA we should have that in no time.

Good praise for WWII, greatest generation, GI Bill, etc. Ah, nostalgia, you wonderful speech mainstay.

Great lead in to discussion of preserving the American Promise. He wants for every American a "fair shot," for people to pay their "fair share," and for everyone to play by the same rules. Um, well, yeah. Isn't that what everyone wants? Equal opportunity, equal treatment under the law, etc? I think we're still in the feel good time of the speech.

Ooh, guess that's over. Time for discussion of the economy... technology making jobs obsolete, millions of Americans out of work, outsourcing, etc. He's sure to point out that the collapse happened in 2008. I don't quibble, just pointing out the framing. :)

Blaming the banks, and decrying the lack of "authority to stop it." I get that the Glass-Steagall repeal was a HUGE contributing factor, but he's completely leaving out the huge rolls that government agencies also played in the situation. No Fannie Mae? Freddie Mac? I understand the desire to point fingers away from one's self, but a large part of the problem was the intimate relationship between government and the financial institutions. Not to mention the number of government stewards or legislators who were in tight with the banks and mortgage companies that helped make this possible. If you want to impose regulations, maybe start with regulating the power of congressmen and women to make deals and hide evidence? Where's the transparency we were promised?

He points out that in the 6 months before he took office America lost 4 million jobs. And in the 22 months since he has taken office, we have created 3 million! USA! US-- wait.... In almost four times the amount of time we have not quite caught up to the rate of loss in six months? Wow. That sucks! Why would you share that?? We can do math, you know...

The State of the Union is getting stronger. Oh, I damn well hope so.

Ooh, and then he gets all angry. You tell them, Mr. President. No more obstruction! NO more games! Wait, aren't both sides responsible for that? Careful, your mote is showing.

Huh, I didn't know that GM was the world's number 1 auto maker. And my friends all confirm it. Yay. Chevy Volts didn't pull them down!

Outsourcing time.. and he wants to impose a tax on all companies that operate multinationally? I do not see this going over well, nor do I see it EVER passing Congress.

Education time: training of 2 million Americans in job relevant skills. I like that, but wonder and worry about how the federal government intends to do it. I suppose subsidies for community colleges? Weren't we just talking about how tuition is getting too high and no one can pay for schools? Do we expect giving schools more money will make things cheaper? How has that worked in the past? Oh, he says he wants to keep those costs down by denying subsidies to colleges that raise tuition. Rent control on education... Something to ponder and maybe discuss later.

Ooh, and he wants states to enact strict truancy laws for high school students? Technically they're already mostly on the books, but I really worry about enforcement.

Immigration: stronger border control AND amnesty for hard-working young immigrants. Really trying to hit the Democrats and the Republicans on this one. I think the only ones who are going to be truly happy about both suggestions are the libertarians and the sane in both parties, so just a few of us. :)

Equal pay for women! Easy win.

Energy: Opening up offshore drilling. Many of my friends groaned at this one, but I like that it will open up jobs and with all of the new safety measures and new financial penalties for accidents or spills, we may have safer and more environmentally friendly drilling offshore than ever before. God knows we'll be more conscientious about it than OPEC or China.

Hehe, and all of my friends are waiting for one particular energy strategy. "Say the N-word! Say the N-word!!" Apparently, we're all fans of nuclear energy here.

And we jump to the conclusion that the only way to have clean energy is to have government fund it?? How did this happen? I admit, I ran for a bathroom break, but I can't imagine any flow of logic that lends itself to such conclusions.

Ooh, and the Department of Defense is going to dedicate itself to developing clean energy on public lands. Enough to power a quarter of a million homes... That's not even enough to power a small subsection of my suburb of Atlanta...

Good line; "No bailouts, no handouts, no copouts." Wish it meant something.

Aww, Obama made a joke! He's so cute when he's all proud of himself like that.

And it almost distracted from his reference to Cordray, the recess appointment Obama made when Congress wasn't at recess. I think I hear booing.

I like that he's going to open up investigations into the Wall Street debacles, but I wonder if they will extend to the implications with members of Congress.

Finally!! I've been waiting for a Warren Buffet reference to drink on. And raising taxes on Congress. I'm fine with that. If they want to raise them on others, then they should raise them on themselves. Though this video makes me think the whole thing is a bit disingenuous.

Back to criticizing Washington. I feel sometimes that he is ready to scold because he thinks his own actions are above what he sees in others, even as he engages in the same things. Frustrates me.

Now, close with something you're good on: foreign policy again. "Look at Iran. Now look at me. Now look at Iran." --quote from my friend Karen.

And then he closes out with some more platitudes and troop flattering.

A fairly long speech, and a relatively long response on my part. Forgiveness. I did cut out a good deal. I may come back to some of these issues in the next few days, but we'll see.